I physically got to be your mom for four years but, for two years and nine months I spent every waking moment being your everything - your mom, your nurse, your doctor, your nutritionist, your mind - like I could read it, I had to try to know everything for you and now, I am a mom without kids. Christopher is grown and doesn't need me, and you are gone. I somehow manage to keep myself busy through out the day, but the night time is the hardest. If I could sleep all the time, I wouldn't have to think or feel. I see you sometimes in my dreams, but its the you that you were while you were here. I don't know how to think of you as the "you" that you are now - what does your voice sound like, your little frog like legs now strong and standing, your feet walking across the streets of Heaven - it must be a beautiful site and a wonderful feeling for you....
I miss you so very much.