When I started this piece, Kaleb was about to turn 8; now that I'm finishing it, it's nearly his 9th birthday. It's hard to imagine what he would look like now. It's funny, I have written this post a hundred times in my head as I lay awake at two in the morning, but when I sit down to write, the words are gone. What do you say about a child that most of the people in my life now, never got to meet? I've been going back through pictures and looking at that sweet angelic face, that was expressionless and without emotion and often wonder, what kind of life did he have? I have no way of knowing how he felt, but I do know how I felt. He was a precious gift that I am grateful to have had. As much as it hurts to not have him with me, I would do it all over again. He was so special and such an amazing gift; I am proud to have been his mother.
For his birthday/Angelversary, I asked my aerial instructor, Lauriel, to choreograph a routine for me to record and post on social media. I did do that, I just never finished this piece to post it here. I told Lauriel that as this Angelversary passes, he will have been gone, longer than he lived and I wanted something to show the struggle that comes with deciding to get up every morning and keep going when sometimes, that seems impossible. I chose the song "Tell Your Heart to Beat Again" by Danny Gokey. You have to decide to live through grief and sometimes that means you have to tell your heart to keep beating, you have to will yourself to get up when you'd rather stay down. This piece showcases that struggle and this song says it all perfectly.
Again, I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP OR RIGHTS to this song:
Song: Tell your Heart to Beat Again by Danny Gokey
Choreography: Lauriel Marques de Oliveira