I'm sitting here tonight in the place where your bed used to be and I was just thinking about how many hours I sat here in silence with you, holding your hand and stroking your hair. I miss you so much. It's been 8 weeks since I've held you in my arms and the last time i held you, you were already gone. My arms feel so empty without you.
I am grateful for the sleep I get now because that's a good 6/7 hours that I don't have to think. Waking up is a different story, it's like starting the process all over again. Some days are easier than others but lately its been pretty hard. Maybe it's because Christmas is coming, it's always been pretty sad knowing you couldn't enjoy it and thinking each one might be your last, of course that fear has now been realized.
I try not to be sad but it's so hard. I know you are enjoying yourself, you are free and happy, which is all I ever wanted for you, I just wish I could see it.
I am grateful for the sleep I get now because that's a good 6/7 hours that I don't have to think. Waking up is a different story, it's like starting the process all over again. Some days are easier than others but lately its been pretty hard. Maybe it's because Christmas is coming, it's always been pretty sad knowing you couldn't enjoy it and thinking each one might be your last, of course that fear has now been realized.
I try not to be sad but it's so hard. I know you are enjoying yourself, you are free and happy, which is all I ever wanted for you, I just wish I could see it.
This is a picture a friend if mine put on Facebook and this is what I see Kaleb doing.
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