I am grateful for the sleep I get now because that's a good 6/7 hours that I don't have to think. Waking up is a different story, it's like starting the process all over again. Some days are easier than others but lately its been pretty hard. Maybe it's because Christmas is coming, it's always been pretty sad knowing you couldn't enjoy it and thinking each one might be your last, of course that fear has now been realized.
I try not to be sad but it's so hard. I know you are enjoying yourself, you are free and happy, which is all I ever wanted for you, I just wish I could see it.