I've been to the cemetery twice this week (today is Wednesday) to "visit" you. I know you are not there but it somehow makes me feel close to you. Some days are better than others, yesterday was probably the worst one yet (since your passing and funeral that is). I don't know why yesterday was so bad, and truthfully - today is not starting off much better either, I can barely see the words I'm typing right now.
I don't know if you can "see" us, if you can I need you to try and understand my tears are for me because I miss you and long to hold you and kiss you. I cannot begrudge you your freedom from this disease, I envision you running around, playing and you are probably talking everyone's ear off, you have a lot of time to make up for - I just wish I could witness it for myself.
Last Sunday, daddy got your portrait tattooed on his arm. It is beautiful, just like you. We carry you in our hearts and now you are proudly displayed on Daddy's arm for everyone to see!
The holiday's are fast approaching which were always hard anyway since you couldn't "participate" in the festivities - you never got to taste the Thanksgiving turkey or get excited about Santa, but this year is going to be even harder since you will not be with us. Daddy and I may just skip it this year, I wish we could do that, but we really can't. It's hard trying to figure out how to go on everyday without you, but we have too. Right now I'm kind of going through the motions, I guess one day, I'll figure it out or maybe it will just be like this. It's been almost five months now since your grandpa passed away and I can't say it's better, it's just different.
Yes, it's been one month since you've been gone which feels like an eternity but I try to take comfort in the knowledge that with each day that passes I am one more day closer to seeing you again. We love and miss you so much!
A child that loses a parent is an orphan.
A man who loses his wife is a widower.
A woman who loses her husband is a widow.
There is no name for a parent that loses a child,
for there is no word to describe this pain.