Since it was so nice out again today we went out on the back patio to enjoy the sun and the cool breeze. He snuggled up and fell asleep and I just watched him for about thirty minutes peacefully sleeping, it was like my own piece of Heaven. I was thinking about when Christopher was born some fifteen and a half years ago, all I wanted to do was be a stay at home so that I could take care of him. That wasn't in the cards back then. After Kaleb was born I went back to work for about a year until I was able to quit my job so that I could fill that position of stay at home mom and I love it. But, today I had time to think about what I had pictured and what it really is. As we sat there, I couldn't help but think about the way things are supposed to be and how unfair it is that instead of running me ragged and talking my head off, my baby is a prisoner in his own body. I just don't understand why these beautiful, innocent children have to suffer this way. He's not in pain but I can't help but wonder what he's thinking, is he wondering why he used to be able to play and now he can't even turn his head? Sometimes I feel like he looks at me like "is this really it". But lately he's been giving us lots of smiles and making cooing noises, it is so wonderful, it's his way of saying "I love you" and it fills my heart!
The weather has been so nice here lately and between nurses visits and therapy, we went for a bike ride. We were able to rig his bike stroller up so that his tumble form chair fits in it so we can get out of the house. We rode down to the park a couple of days ago, which thankfully was empty and I sat in a swing with him. My limp little baby curled over my shoulder breathing on neck - I'll never forget it.
Since it was so nice out again today we went out on the back patio to enjoy the sun and the cool breeze. He snuggled up and fell asleep and I just watched him for about thirty minutes peacefully sleeping, it was like my own piece of Heaven. I was thinking about when Christopher was born some fifteen and a half years ago, all I wanted to do was be a stay at home so that I could take care of him. That wasn't in the cards back then. After Kaleb was born I went back to work for about a year until I was able to quit my job so that I could fill that position of stay at home mom and I love it. But, today I had time to think about what I had pictured and what it really is. As we sat there, I couldn't help but think about the way things are supposed to be and how unfair it is that instead of running me ragged and talking my head off, my baby is a prisoner in his own body. I just don't understand why these beautiful, innocent children have to suffer this way. He's not in pain but I can't help but wonder what he's thinking, is he wondering why he used to be able to play and now he can't even turn his head? Sometimes I feel like he looks at me like "is this really it". But lately he's been giving us lots of smiles and making cooing noises, it is so wonderful, it's his way of saying "I love you" and it fills my heart!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
March 2016
|