When we got up that morning we surrounded him with our love and we watched him struggle, he fought so hard to stay with us. I will never forget holding his little face in my hands and with tears streaming down my face, I leaned over and put my cheek on his and whispered into his ear, I will never be ok without you, but I can't stand to watch you struggle this way, it's ok to let go baby, I love you with all of my heart and I will miss you until we are together again. A few minutes later, at 7:36 am, he let go and just like that his suffering was over and mine increased ten fold, but if I had to do it over again, I'd say those same words. As a mother, and through my selfishness, I would have taken care of him for the rest of MY life, but also as a mother, I couldn't watch him struggle anymore. It brings me joy to know he is free, but the ache in my heart from missing him is unexplainable, there are no words to describe this ache.
So, as the third anniversary of his passing approaches, all I can say is "I love you and miss you and wait for the day I see you again."
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Kaleb John Thomas Ogden