I consider the life this little boy was forced to live and in all honesty, he lived a life that if we were faced with, most of us would say, we'd just rather die. The thought of not being able, to move, see, hear, eat, swallow or communicate in any way terrifies me and I'm sure I'm no alone in that. I can only hope that the damage to his brain kept him from feeling any of those things and that he was at least able to feel comforted by being in our arms and our presence. If I wasn't holding him, Daddy was or I was sitting by him holding his hand or foot, he always had some kind of physical contact with him and I hope that enabled him to feel safe. In my own selfish world, you can go back and read, I wanted him to be here forever, I would have gladly cared for him for the rest of MY life. But I now think about the fact that he was only here for four years and eight days, which for him was probably two and a half years too many. Its funny how now I can see things a lot more differently than I could when we were living in that moment.
I miss this little boy so much, I can't even begin to describe how this feels but I am so grateful that his suffering is over. So as his eight month Anglevsary passes, I shed many tears as I know I always will, but with each month that passes, I am more relieved that he is truly free.