I don't spend a lot of time writing here anymore, I write in my personal journal almost daily but it has occurred to me that a lot of what I write is "sad" and people don't want to read that or know that I'm sad. I don't ask that anyone understand my pain, in fact, I hope that you don't - sadly, I know many who read this do understand. What I need everyone to know is that, I am sad, I lost one of my children and I will never "get over it" but I will be ok. You should understand that I am not the person I was four years and five months ago, nor will I ever be and the person I am to become is still undetermined. You will see me smile, and you will hear me laugh, but I will never get over losing Kaleb. There will always be a sadness and an emptiness inside my heart that will heal but never go away. Occassionally, you will see me cry and that has to be ok. But, if you are my friend, I want you to say his name, I want you to talk about him. You should know, I will NEVER forget him and I need to know that you won't either. One thing I am learning is that grief is a journey, it's not something you get over, it's something you get through. There is no time limit on when things are going to get better; today may be better than yesterday and tomorrow I may breakdown, it's a process and that is what you should know to help me get through.
"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're
reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift." -Elizabeth Edwards